Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. The tearful goodbyes at preschool drop-off. The “mommy I want to stay home with you” pleadings. The mornings when I constantly say, “hurry up, let’s go, we’re going to be late.”
Sometimes I wonder if I’m missing out. I long to pick the kids up from school in the afternoons. I dream about making appearances in their classrooms. I wish I could see their world just a little more by volunteering at school or coaching their teams.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m investing my time in the right ways. As a family, do we have one too many activities? Should I place a personal hobby or passion on hold while my kids are young? Are my husband and I doing enough when it comes to shaping our kids’ morals and values?
Sometimes I wonder if I can sustain this pace of life. The calendar is so full. The emails never cease. The commute is without a doubt draining.
Sometimes I wonder if we are living in the right place. California is expensive. The freeways are painful. The “go-go” lifestyle exhausting.
Sometimes I wonder if I should take more risks. I am striving to provide for my family in the best way possible, but is there a better way? Do we cut back on saving? Assume everything will be OK when it comes to our future retirement expenses, college savings and mortgage payments?
Sometimes I wonder if the “grass is greener on the other side.” What if I stayed home with the kids? What if I worked part-time? What if I worked for a different company?
Sometimes I wonder how that other family is doing it. How do they get by on one income? Are they happy? Do they feel secure?
Sometimes I wonder if I chose the right career, the right industry, the right position. What will my career look like in five, 10, 15 years?
Sometimes I wonder if my kids will look back on their childhoods and remember me fondly. Will my worries be unfounded? Will they realize every choice I made was really with their best interest at heart? Will they know I loved them more than words, that I count them as my greatest blessings, that their lives enrich my own every single day?
Sometimes, I wonder …