I recall listening to an Oprah Life Class session where the media icon herself was sharing lessons and learnings from her own personal journey. Specifically, I’ve been fixated lately with a story she told about asking God to help her find courage.
She laughs as she recounts this period in her life, stating the next several months served her with some of the most trying times ever. Ask for courage and God gives you circumstances to be courageous.
“I’m not going to ask for courage anymore,” she chuckled.
Over the past few months I’ve been wrestling with similar prayers and mantras.
Help me be flexible.
Help me find answers.
Help me be strong.
Now, I’m starting to wonder if I need to “game” the system. Like Oprah experienced, I feel these requests to the universe are sending me even more challenging moments, testing my character, my sanity, my strength.
As a working mom, I’ve certainly learned over the years to roll with the punches. Sleep will be interrupted. Kids will get sick. Fights will break out. Lunches left at home. As organized as I am, chaos happens, and I usually don’t get rattled.
This trait translates beautifully at work. You can throw endless presentation tweaks at me and I won’t flinch. Petty office politics – I don’t have time for it. Meetings that go sideways? There will be another day.
But lately, I am really being tested. Big decisions need to be made. My “free time” – what little I had – is consumed with research and analysis and assessing my personal brand and career goals. Lucky for me, between work and home and research, I have little time to freak out. But still, I’ve been asking God to just make something easy for me. I long for easy.
- An easy commute? That would be heavenly, but lately the traffic has been insane.
- Finding a babysitter for an evening out? Seriously, don’t teenagers need some spending money these days?
- Teaching my daughter her letters and numbers? How does she magically erase her little brain within five minutes of review?
These are the minor issues.
Compound the small irritants with the big stuff and that’s where things get intense.
I would love for that next perfect job to fall into my lap. Or for someone to gift us a boatload of money for the expensive preschool, weighty mortgage or jumble of other bills (I seriously have friends who still have parents paying for their vacations or for their home remodel projects! Really?!). I’d like someone to advise us on Texas. I’m sure it’s great y’all, but can someone look in a crystal ball and tell me leaving our close family and friends will be OK.
I know many of these issues I reference are “just part of life.” I’m an adult, I’m a mom, I’m a breadwinner. These stresses – and joys – come with the titles. But lately I wish for an “easy button.” Can something run smoothly? Can answers drop from the sky? Can cars part like the Red Sea on the 91 freeway as I drive to work? Can I teleport?
I’m proud of my accomplishments, the life I’ve built with my husband, the kids I’m raising. We are healthy, generally happy, and loved. But, I’ve worked hard for all of this. Very hard. For once, it would be nice for something, some moment, some milestone to feel effortless – to feel easy.
Some individuals get these moments all the time. Some, maybe never. I’ve seen friends wrestle with finding the right mate, struggle with infertility, fight disease. It’s tough.
So we try to focus on the small moments, the small gifts we take for granted. The sunny skies, the perfect drink, the laughs with friends. The moments we are gifted every single day.
Still, like many people, I can get greedy. I’d love one of those magical “big” moments where I can look back and see it was easy – just once. I would be so thankful. And if it can happen soon, I might just keep it together. 🙂