Sadness, Disgust, Fear, Anger, Joy.
As I watched the characters in the popular Pixar flick Inside Out, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own raging emotions experienced over the course of the past year.
I’d also add Frustration, Worry and Self-Doubt to my own personal cast, and the internal dialogue was not always fun.
When my employer of more than a decade announced they would be relocating to Texas, I was faced with a tough choice. Pick up and move the life my family had built in California to follow a very stable organization, or find a new gig and start anew.
Regardless, change was coming, and I threw many tantrums in the months that followed as my husband and I weighed our options.
The job search? It felt like dating all over again. Will “he” call? Did “she” like me? No connection. Ugh, can’t work for him.
The thought of relocating three kids and my husband and leaving all of our family and friends? Can you say overwhelming?
The range of emotions that come with rebuilding my personal brand with another company? Part of me was excited to go somewhere new, part of me whined, “I don’t want to prove myself again. I have a good thing going!”
Ultimately, we decided to stay. I landed a new position in California, and I’m one week into learning a new industry, new position, new people, new commute, new building, new technology … yes, lots of new.
As a working mom, I suppose I grew accustomed to my comfortable position, my mastered routine, my very long leash. Between the homework, activities, occasional sick kid and general parenting, it’s been nice to feel like my career is under control, manageable, stable.
But Change knocked on the door, so here I go. And while we now know we are staying in California, and I have a job, and many elements of our life will remain the same, the characters in my head are still jumpy. I built a strong reputation with a world-class employer, and walked the halls of that place for nearly 15 years, so moving over to a new company is pretty big.
To say the least, Self-Doubt might make an appearance as I learn a new organization. Sadness will surface when I miss old work friends. Even Fear will pop in from time to time.
The chatter is intense, but ultimately I hope to find Joy, Peace and Excitement. I love learning and competing, so I’m confident I’ll rise to this challenge. I’m happy my kids can keep attending their schools and enjoying their teams and seeing their grandparents – one pair lives just a mile away. Finally, I’m delighted we made a decision, because the uncertainty of this past year weighed heavily on my heart and mind.
So here’s to new beginnings … and growing from change.
P.S. Since I’m learning a new job with a new company, my blogging frequency may decrease for the summer, but I hope to pop in from time to time to share and reflect.
Image Courtesy of Pixar.