Maybe it’s the LMN preview commercials I keep seeing about Beaches, or perhaps it’s New Year reflections, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships during this stage of my life.
Growing up, I never had a bestie. I had friends, but not one true soul sister. I wish I had, but it just wasn’t in the cards. I had two close girlfriends through most of my school days, but you know how things go when there are three. You can’t quite split that BFF heart so easily, and sometimes two of us would be tighter, leaving one person out. Sigh.
Today, it seems impossible to find quality time for friendships. Working full time and parenting basically sucks up every moment. There is no time for leisurely coffee dates or girl’s nights out. I’m good about leaving the office at 5 p.m., but then I need to factor in commute time, homework review, and the juggle of soccer practices and scout meetings. Oh yes, and then there is laundry, bills to pay and meals to make. Weekends are more of the same. And when I do have a quiet afternoon, which is rare, sometimes I just want to curl up with a book or nurture my introverted tendencies.
A few weeks ago, I devoured Samantha Ettus’ The Pie Life, where she advocates for giving all slices of your life a little TLC. While she offers tips and resources, I find it difficult to eke out anymore efficiencies in my life. I invite a life coach to spend a week with me and find ways to do my schedule better. Please! With three active kids and two, full-time working parents, I think you would leave my house in need of a vacation.
Still, I yearn for time with friends. First, I need to make more of an effort – beyond the convenient office-lite relationships that make workdays a little more fun. Second, I need to get vulnerable. I need to put myself out there to make more connections – the right connections. I know I can benefit in so many ways from solid female friendships. Science shows you live longer, it takes pressure off your spouse to fill every emotional need and quality girl time is fun.
In a few short weeks, I’ll be entering a new decade. Eek! Given the ages of my kids, life is certain to be busy. There will be no slowing up there. But I hope in time, I can strengthen female ties. Once you get to know me, I am a very loyal friend. 🙂 And with age, I know I only need a few tight connections to keep me flying.The 400 FB friends don’t count.
So as I approach 40, I need to get brave. I need to put myself out there. I need to give more to the women in my life. I need to put time on the calendar – even if it is just one night a month – to grow in this area.
How about you? Is this something you need to work on? Or do you have tips for other women wrestling with this challenge?